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What To Do When Life Hurts

Suffering is an inevitable part of the broken, sinful world we live in. It touches every aspect of our being and extends to every dimension of our living. It’s always happening at some level. However, there are some things we go through in life that especially hurt.

Our responses can range all over the spectrum, too, such as withdrawal, anger, bitterness, hopelessness, grieving, and desperation—or often times, a dark mixture of them all. The question is, what do we do when we face particularly difficult circumstances?

I think the story of Elijah in 1 Kings 19 provides us a good template for what we ought to do when we go through especially trying times.

1 Kings 19 essentially conveys Elijah’s greatest season of suffering; but what’s interesting is that it immediately follows chapter 18, which recounts Elijah’s greatest spiritual accomplishment: namely, defeating the 450 false prophets of Baal. In chapter 18, he was on cloud 9. But then in chapter 19, he hit rock bottom.

In chapter 19, an evil queen, Jezebel, threatened to kill Elijah, and Elijah figured he was as good as dead. Even after seeing God back him up in front of 450 ready-killers, Elijah was scared to death of this next assassin. The anxiety caused him to panic; the panic caused him to flee; and the fleeing caused him to become depressed. But what happens next in 1 Kings 19 is quite a reversal. We see exactly how Elijah responds to suffering—and even more importantly—we see who God is to Elijah in his suffering.

Overall, I think this story shows us 8 main things we can do when we face especially hard times. Let’s look at Scripture, and then dive into some applications.

  1. Take refuge in God, and spend some time alone.

Now Ahab told Jezebel everything Elijah had done and how he had killed all the prophets with the sword. So Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah to say, “May the gods deal with me, be it ever so severely, if by this time tomorrow I do not make your life like that of one of them.” Elijah was afraid and ran for his life. When he came to Beersheba in Judah, he left his servant there, while he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness.

Elijah gets the death sentence and runs for his life. But where does he run? Beersheba, and I don’t think that’s insignificant or coincidental at all. Beersheba means ‘well of oath,’ and Abraham first dug it when he established a pact with Abimelech, marking what would be the southernmost border of the Promised Land. It was a favorite place of abode of the patriarchs, and it essentially represented the gateway of entering into God’s promises and rest.

Likewise, when you go through particularly trying times, run to the refuge of God’s promises for you. Spend some time alone, process, pray, and seek fellowship with God in your confusion, disappointment, and pain.

  1. Sleep

He came to a broom bush, sat down under it and prayed that he might die. “I have had enough, Lord,” he said. “Take my life; I am no better than my ancestors.” Then he lay down under the bush and fell asleep.

Secondly, it’s important to get some sleep. The reality is that you just can’t think clearly or function properly with a lack sleep. That’s simply the way God programmed us. I love how D.A. Carson weighs in on the importance of sleep:

“The point is that as human beings our mind, body, matter, spirit all work together and if you push yourself to the limit you are inviting depression, breaking down, and looking at the world through dark, gloomy habits, and then the godliest thing you can do in universe is GET SOME SLEEP!”

It’s true, we can’t compartmentalize our spiritual needs and our physical needs because we are spiritual-physical beings—not only spiritual beings nor only physical beings. So, like Elijah, when you are under duress, the most ‘spiritual’ thing you can do at times is to get some sleep.

  1. Eat

All at once an angel touched him and said, “Get up and eat.” He looked around, and there by his head was some bread baked over hot coals, and a jar of water.

God gave you a body that not only needs to sleep, but also needs to eat. The truth is that you can’t think clearly or function properly with a lack of food. So eat, even when you’re not hungry and even when you don’t feel like it. Because we are spiritual-physical beings, eating won’t just be nourishment to your body, but nourishment for your soul.

  1. Repeat

He ate and drank and then lay down again. The angel of the Lord came back a second time and touched him and said, “Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you.” So he got up and ate and drank.

How does the angel of the Lord approach Elijah in his suffering? Does he give him a sermon? No. Does he tell him to pray? No. Does he tell him to sing praise? No.

What does he do? The first time he shows up, he wakes Elijah up and gives him food. And the second time he shows up, he wakes Elijah up and gives him some more food.

Why do you think the angel acted in this way? I think it’s because we’re not able to effectively deal with things emotionally or spiritually until we’re first physically and emotionally taken care of. When we’re exhausted, it won’t matter if we hear the greatest sermon ever or listen to the greatest worship song ever. We just can’t process it with a physically-depleted body, emotionally-drained heart, and sleep-deprived mind. We need to be receptive in order to receive, and we just aren’t spiritually receptive when we are in physical and emotional disarray.

  1. Get Going

Strengthened by that food, he traveled forty days and forty nights until he reached Horeb, the mountain of God.

After we have rested and eaten, and rested and eaten, we need to get out of bed and get out of the fridge, and get going. We certainly need sleep and food, but we should not grow wholly dependent upon these things, either. Because God doesn’t just want us to refuel, but to get going until we need to refuel again.

  1. Move forward with your eyes on God’s Promises.

Elijah got going, and his journey’s destination was Horeb, the mountain of God. This mountain is also a significant place in Scripture. It’s the place where God encountered Moses in the burning bush; it’s the place where Moses struck the rock and water flowed out from it to quench the thirst of the Israelites; and it’s the place where God gave Moses the 10 Commandments. It’s called ‘The Mountain of God’ precisely because it was a place where God met with man.

Elijah wanted that. So he moved forward in life, driven by the desire to be closer and closer to God and his plans for him.

  1. Be assured that God is close to you and knows your pain.

There he went into a cave and spent the night. And the word of the Lord came to him: “What are you doing here, Elijah?” 10 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.”

11 The Lord said, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.” Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. 12 After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.

This text is proof that God comes close to us in our pain, and I love how God chooses to do so: God did not reveal himself in the powerful wind. God did not reveal himself in the potent earthquake. And God did not reveal himself in the great fire. How did he reveal himself to Elijah? In a whisper.

But why a whisper? I think it’s because you can only hear a whisper when you’re close.

More important than what the whisper said was what the whisper meant. It meant God had made himself close to Elijah—very, very close. It revealed God’s close, personal nature. I think it also shows the gentleness of God to us in our pain. He doesn’t yell at us; he whispers to us.

We certainly need a view of a God who is powerful—like that of a strong wind, powerful earthquake, and great fire. But we also need a view of a God who is personal—like that of a whisper. On one hand, a powerful God who is not personal is a God who can help us, but cannot relate to us. On the other hand, a personal God who is not powerful is a God who can relate to us, but cannot help us. Only a God who is both powerful and personal is a God whom we can trust to both relate to us and help us. That’s the beauty of this passage.

But that’s not all. This instance of God coming close to Elijah is also a pointer of the One who would come after Elijah, too. One who would climb another mountain of God, this time with a cross on his back, becoming personally, intimately acquainted with our suffering and being crucified for our sin—Jesus Christ.

Often times, it’s easy to think that God doesn’t really know our pain. He’s God, so he’s detached from the hardships of our physical experience, right? The natural assumption of religion might say ‘yes,’ but the clear announcement of Christianity boldly declares, ‘NO!’

That gives us hope, no matter how bleak or painful the circumstances might be. We need to be assured that “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Ps. 34:18).

  1. Trust that God will provide, one way or another.

Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?”

14 He replied, “I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty… I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too.” 15 The Lord said to him, “Go back the way you came… 18 Yet I reserve seven thousand in Israel—all whose knees have not bowed down to Baal and whose mouths have not kissed him.”

Elijah became dismayed because he felt like he was the only one. No one understood his pain. No one knew what he was going through. No one was there for him. According to Elijah’s vantage point, God had not provided. But according to God’s vantage, God had already provided everything.

When Elijah was waiting, God was moving.
When Elijah was sulking, God was arranging.
When Elijah was complaining, God was preparing.

Elijah didn’t see it, but God had always been active in the background, accomplishing his purposes day by day—without Elijah’s help at all. God called him to be faithful—that was it. God promised to take care of the rest. And here, on the mountain of God, Elijah was reassured of that great promise. A promise that the suffering Paul would also echo confidently through the bars in a jail cell: “And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19).

Whatever you’re going through—you need to be assured that God will not only provide for you in the future, but that he is already providing for you in the present.

I’m reminded of John Piper’s famous quote, “God is always doing 10,000 things in your life, and you may be aware of three of them.” And I’ll add to that… you may be aware of two of them, or just one of them, or even none of them. Regardless, God is working, and constantly working for your good (Rom. 8:28). Be assured he will provide.

*     *     *     *     *

Suffering is not easy, but because we have Christ, we must realize that things do not happen to us as much as they happen for us (Rom. 8:31-32).

Nothing, absolutely nothing happens to us outside of God’s love, wisdom, and power; which is another way of saying that everything, absolutely everything happens for us according to God’s love, wisdom, and power. Take hold of that truth by the horns.

But in the meantime, as you navigate through your struggles and grapple with those truths, seek to heal according to the example we see in Elijah’s life:

  1. Take refuge in God, and spend some time alone.
  2. Eat
  3. Sleep
  4. Repeat
  5. Get Going
  6. Move forward with your eyes on God’s Promises.
  7. Be assured that God is close to you and knows your pain.
  8. Trust that God will provide, one way or another.

To conclude, I’d encourage you to listen to the song, “Not For A Moment” by Meredith Andrews. If you haven’t heard it, you can check it out here. The lyrics are below:

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me