We’ve all heard of the five love languages, right? The book, The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate, by Gary Chapman has been a best seller, not only among Christian circles, but in the non-Christian circles, too.
The basis of the book communicates that we are each wired to experience and give love in different ways. Chapman argues that there are five general ‘love languages’ categories, and typically, everyone falls into either one or two of those categories.
These five ‘love language’ categories include the following:
- Gifts
- Words of Affirmation
- Quality Time
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
Think about which category you generally fall into. Maybe you express and receive love the same way. Or maybe you express and receive love differently. Overall, the point is we are creatures that are wired—by our personalities, strengths, and experiences—to enjoy giving and receiving love in different ways. So, it got me thinking.
This renowned book points out the five love languages that apply at a horizontal level, between man and woman, but what about at a vertical level, between humanity and God? In fact, implicit to Chapman’s thesis—that we are created to give and receive love in different ways—lies a significant premise that flies completely under the radar. Namely, if we were created to give and receive love in different ways, then that means, therefore, there is a Creator who has wired us in that specific way for a specific reason. If that premise is true, that means the primary emphasis belongs first to how this Creator relates to us and us to Him, and then secondarily focuses on how we relate to one another in light of that first relation.
Ultimately, the Creator—along with all his characteristics, personality, and nature—is reflected in his design. This is true of authors, painters, basketball players, musicians, and etc. In other words, the art is always an imprint or an expression of the artist. Same goes with God. Being the Creator of the natural order, every aspect of the physical universe bears the weight of God’s glorious fingerprint.
But what else? We know can know God is a brilliant artist, but what about his heart? He simply could have created everything and then skipped out. Creation doesn’t exactly give us enough evidence for how God feels about us, relates with us, and how we are to relate to him.
And that’s where, significantly, these five love languages come in. While creation can deductively point us to God, these love languages can inductively point us to God. Meaning, how he has created us to give and receive love provides us the blueprints for how he wants to give and receive love to us. God is creator (Gen.1) and God is love (1 Jn. 4:19).
So these five love languages (gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and physical touch) tell us about the nature of God. However, before we start filling in the blanks for God is like all these things, we first must let God fill in the blanks about himself about he expresses himself in this way.
And his answer?
Jesus.
Jesus is the five love languages of God.
He is the ultimate Gift of God to us. He was given at the greatest cost, for the greatest purpose, to be the solution for the greatest need, when we were least worthy.
He is the Word of grace of truth, the ultimate dynamic of true affirmation. Being all grace unfortunately results in liberal sentimentalism, with no backbone for true justice. But being all truth all unfortunately results in cold-hearted fundamentalism, with no acceptance for true love. But Jesus exudes the perfect balance, who died for our sins to fulfill all justice, but who gives his righteousness as a gift to display only grace.
He is the embodiment of Quality Time, for he is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and whose presence will never be exhausted from you (Heb. 13:5,8). In Christ, you can approach God with confidence whenever because Christ reigns as your mediator forever (Heb. 4:6; 3:12).
He is the ultimate example of Acts of Service, “who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Ph. 2:6-8).
He is the ultimate example of Physical Touch, who, while he was transcendent, became descendent, incarnating into our nature, being the God-man who alone could bridge the gap between God and fallen man.
Overall, God says that if you want to know who He is, then look at Jesus. And Jesus says, if you want to know who God is, look at Him. For Jesus is the “radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature” and “the image of the invisible God” (Heb. 1; Col. 1). Jesus says, “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father. How can you say, ‘Show us the Father’?” (Jn. 14:9).
After all, how we can really know what all these five love languages are without the Standard to measure them by? Jesus, indeed, is this standard and the ultimate example for all these languages.
So when you think about how you like to give and receive love, be assured that God has first given that type of love to you, and that you can ultimately know His love by the person and work of Jesus. Whatever love language you are and whatever longings you need fulfilled, God has fulfilled it.
